Queer Comic Jordan Pease on Lust and Love

We sat down with Jordan Pease, the queer comic who left central New Jersey about five years ago to make a name for himself in Los Angeles, the land where every nobody is a somebody and the somebodies won't take your phone calls.

If everyone in this city is trying to be the next big thing, how in the world do you get recognized?

With determination and hard work, Pease feels that he may be able to change the face of comedy in this town. And if you take a good look at the mug on this American dreamer, you can see how he just might be able to do it.

EDGE: I was a little confused by your website. What I get is you like Idaho...

Jordan Pease: Idaho always has incredible audiences. Plus... their baked potatoes are insane.

EDGE: ...and you seem to have a problem real with redheads. Why?

JP: Oh red heads are just darling. I actually thoroughly enjoy being around them.

EDGE: You said on your website that if you went to an adoption agency, and they brought you a redheaded child, you'd send it back for another color.

JP: False. I said I'd return it! I love redheads. They are wild and always getting shit faced at 4 p.m. As long as I get a baby like that I'm fine.

EDGE: Official Laughs listed some of the great gay and lesbian stand-ups as Ellen DeGeneres, Stephen Fry, Wanda Sykes and Carrot Top. Why should you be added to this list?

JP: First of all, if Carrot Top is gay then I'm straight. That's horrifying.

EDGE: Seriously, what the fuck is your problem with redheads? Did a ginger break your heart?

JP: Someone is a little sensitive about gingers huh?

EDGE: I have red hair!

JP: The fact that you guys have red eyelashes just fascinates me. Like... how? How does that happen?

EDGE: So is it the body hair color that freaks you out. Why do you fear the fire-crotch?

JP: I don't. ... Seriously, gingers are my type of crowd! They are great for jokes because they always have a killer sense of humor. Plus, whenever I hang with a redhead I just crave beer and hot Cheetos. And I'm never opposed to hot Cheetos.

EDGE: Oscar Wilde, Lily Tomlin, David Sedaris... Why should you be next?

JP: Uhh, I shouldn't. Well, not yet at least.

EDGE: Do you think you ever will be?

JP: Give me a break; I'm just starting. I just need a little more time to hone my craft, build life experience and sleep with the right people.

EDGE: You seem pretty confident you'll make the list.

JP: Absolutely. I've made most of them already.

EDGE: But you're certain you're gonna make it big.

JP: From the way you keep crossing your legs it looks like I already have.

EDGE: Are you ever not funny?

JP: My third time doing standup was for an audience of about a hundred people; I came off over confident, wasted, and a hot mess with no actual material. I was just trying so hard to be funny. I paced across the stage back and forth like a meth head. But as soon as I got home, at like 2 a.m., I threw on shorts and went for a drunk-jog. City lights can cure anything. I stayed up 'til like 6 a.m. editing my set and dancing around my room. I promised myself I would never try to be funny. That I would always just be myself on stage no matter what.

EDGE: It's got to be a hard life, comedy.

JP: One time a crazy fan screamed out a punch-line seconds before I got the joke off my tongue. I could have killed him, but I took it in stride and got my revenge later. Well, not really. I slept with him immediately after the show. My first groupie! So I would say it's always "hard".

EDGE: Is comedy worth it?

JP: I just want to make the world smile, laugh, and well, forget they are having a shitty day for 30 minutes or so, that's all I want. I want to be a gay comic that's relevant, young, and that sells out the Staples Center! I'll never stop until that happens.

EDGE: So you're looking forward to Christmas?

JP: Ahh, I'm so excited!

EDGE: Are you spending it with someone special?

JP: My giant, food-obsessed Italian family of 3,000 in New York.

EDGE: What are you giving them?

JP: Blunts and Xanax packed in a cute little mitten for all the fam' this year! God knows they need it.

EDGE: Just your family? No one else that's special?

JP: I need to get my stocking stuffed this year if you catch my drift! That is a gift!

EDGE: I like the sound of that.

JP: Whoa! Hold your reindeer, Santa. It's not time to pull your toys out yet.

EDGE: Seriously, have you ever been in love?

JP: It's crazy how as you grow up it's so much easier to decipher lust from love. I love all the time. But I've only ever really been in love once.

EDGE: Tell me about that?

JP: He was a professor and I was... young. We were together for about a year.

EDGE: Why did you break up?

JP: It was hard for him to understand how important humor was to me, and hard for him to grasp my long-shot goals. One morning I rolled over and... he was still asleep. I just knew I wanted this, this relationship... so bad. It felt pure. But I knew in order to make my dreams come true, I couldn't live this "white picket fence" lifestyle. I had to choose career or relationship. In order to make my fairytale ending come true, I'd have to give up my prince charming.

EDGE: And so you moved to Los Angeles? Again I have to ask, is it worth it?

JP: 100%. All because of this feeling I have, this endless drive. I want to represent a generation. I want it so bad I can't sleep at night.

EDGE: And the professor?

JP: It was like losing a best friend. I'll love him forever. Hopefully he is reading this right now.

For more on Jordan Pease, his Facebook page.